Category Archives: relationship revelations

the ample affection.

27 Friday Sep 2013

Posted by in relationship revelations

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

the ample affection.is love enough?

like, really enough?

i’ve heard conflicting opinions and stances taken on this inquiry, and i must say, for someone who is as much of a hopeless romantic as i am, i’m really starting to question it.

i mean, thanks to the skillful rhyming styles of Destiny’s Child, i know that love can’t pay my Bills, Bills, Bills…

not that money has ever been an important factor in the relationships i’ve chosen.

but as much as being in love and staying in love is effortless once you have found the right person, is it indeed sufficient?

are you willing to stay with someone who makes your heart pitter-patter and skip a couple of beats, even if it means having to maybe compromise other things that you once unequivocally believed to be non-negotiable in a relationship?

and if you can find it in your being to look past a certain number of things, will you ever be truly satisfied?

personally, as i have grown older and hopefully matured in my relationships, i have come to realize that some stuff are actually insignificant and too trivial to waste my time caring so much about…

but then again, there are a plenty of deal breakers that i refuse to budge on even if i am completely drowning in love.

of course the things that i value in a relationship are the things that most couples cease to settle on, as well:

  • Appreciation
  • Communication
  • Honesty
  • Openness
  • Loyalty
  • Non-Judgmental
  • Quality-Time
  • Trust

but most importantly, you need to be wholeheartedly happy and content with yourself and your significant other…

obviously, being happy all of the time is absolutely insane, but it should far outweigh the unhappy moments.

being in love is one of the most exhilaratingly fascinating states to be in…

but it can also be the most exhausting, because relationships require effort, time and work.

so in actuality, selecting your lifelong partner is not simply a decision made by your heart…

it is the simultaneous meeting of your brain and your soul.

choose wisely…

the hopeless romantic.

13 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by in relationship revelations

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

the hopeless romantic.tomorrow marks one of the most anticipated and simultaneously dissipating days in the calendar…

and depending on your current relationship status, the next 24 hours could likely vary between being a blessed or depressed time for you.

oh, the 14th of February…

the decorously dubbed “Hallmark Holiday” that is most commonly celebrated with an abundance of cards, calla lilies, confectionaries and eventually being cleaned out from excessive spending.

ahhhh yessss…

Valentine’s Day!

[i would just like to take a brief moment to clarify, as so many aficionados have done so before, that i too do not believe in choosing a single day to glorify love; that is something that should constantly be addressed and recognized…

but since it is thrown in our faces almost immediately after we ring in the New Year, then i am all for celebrating the occasion, notwithstanding of whether or not i am single or in a relationship.]

anyway, i love love!

i think it is the most amazingly beautiful and absolutely heart wrenching emotion that we can ever truly convey…

and although i am sure that most people’s definitions of ‘love’ is, “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person” followed by a “sexual passion or desire”, i think it has many different descriptions, that of which i have adorably listed below.

so here is what i think “Love Is”…

❤ love is… bringing me water even if we are the same distance away from the fridge

❤ love is… going to the bathroom to fart because i think it is rude not to

❤ love is… insisting on telling me that you love me more when i am fervently looking for words to surpass infinity in the dictionary

❤ love is… kissing me on my forehead when i am wearing lipstick

❤ love is… letting me wear the same clothes for three days in a row and not telling me to change

❤ love is… moving my car for me when i am parked behind somebody trying to leave

❤ love is… pretending not to notice when i sing the wrong lyrics because i look so happy doing it

❤ love is… reeling me back in when i am spiraling out of control

❤ love is… sticking your finger under my nose at night while i am sleeping to make sure i am still breathing

❤ love is… telling me how pretty i am when i look like a man

❤ love is… what you make it because love is indefinable

but regardless of all of that, if your special someone gives you something the day before or the day after the 14th, they are either cheap or cheating!

x’s&o’s.

the codependent couple.

24 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by in relationship revelations

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

i spend an extraordinary amount of time scavenging through the multitude of social networking sites that i have quite voluntarily signed myself up to…

and luckily, i can breezily access each and every one of them simultaneously, courtesy of my handy iPhone.

i say “handy” because it is literally attached to my hand at any known moment in any given situation.

and this could not be more of a nuisance to whoever has chosen to spend some quality time with me…

and my cell-phone.

but, as i am apt to do so often, i digress.

back to the topic at hand…

social networking sites!

during my thorough research (see: stalking), i have come to a rather disturbing realization…

one that makes zero to zilch sense to me:

couples who share Facebook profiles with one another!

let’s take a moment to truly analyze this unbecoming trend…

you’re in a relationship.

you decide to make it public.

but in lieu of doing something slightly normal such as updating your relationship status to hmmmm, i don’t know, “IN A RELATIONSHIP”, or maybe even just changing your default picture to something adorable/nauseating, you choose to become a full-fledged psycho and SHARE A PROFILE INSTEAD?!

i strongly oppose hiding things from your significant other, because if you have something to conceal, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship to begin with…

but i give credence to the verity that some privacy is essential in any aspect of your life.

and if you genuinely do not respect your entitled level of privateness, then what about maintaining your sense of individuality?

the distinct characteristics that set you apart from the person you so willingly have become attached at the groin to…

the one that you have collectively sat down with and chosen a password that will undoubtedly be almost as moronic as sharing a page in the first place…

your siamese fucking twin with whom you might as well start sharing a toothbrush and underwear with, because well, why the hell not at this point, right?

it’s not only weird, but it’s pretty pathetic…

with that being said, it may be high time to consider therapy for your abhorrent separation anxiety, crazies.

GOOD LUCK!

the love game.

27 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by in relationship revelations

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

couples who break up and then get back together several times during their ill-fated relationship:

i’m not very fond of people like you.

i see this occurring way too often…

one week you’re in a relationship and everything is jelly beans and joy…

and then the following week it’s just brussels sprouts and bad news.

and it continues to be so during their marathon on-and-off courtship!

unless drama is the only thing that is striving in your relationship, this kind of behavior is highly disastrous and exceedingly unhealthy.

so, what gives?

what is the point in tirelessly trying over and over again?

for the most part, there is an obvious reason why two people break up…

something just doesn’t seem to be working and no matter how many times you attempt it, it simply isn’t in your destiny to continue being with one another.

but for a number of absurd rationales, some couples just cannot grasp this seemingly simple concept…

and this could ultimately lead to a heart-break beyond repair.

i don’t believe in “going back to an ex”…

i have never allowed this to become an option for me.

mostly because i am wise enough to realize that certain problems will not disappear merely because we want them to…

and as much as we hope and pray that we can work through them, if it wasn’t resolved during the time we were together, then the possibility of it being perfected if we were to give it another go, is pretty close to nonexistent.

of course letting go of someone is never going to be an easy feat, but the longer you procrastinate in doing so, the more difficult it will be to break this defective habit…

as The Stylistics so eloquently put it:

“Break up to make up, that’s all we do.
First you love me, then you hate me…
That’s a game for fools.”

fool me once, shame on you…

fool me twice?

well, that will never happen.

the level of discomfart.

18 Wednesday Jan 2012

Posted by in relationship revelations

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

i tend to find a lot of things to be rather disgusting…

from talking with your mouth full to washing dishes in a bathroom sink, there are just certain manners (or lack thereof) that sits relatively high on my list of strong aversions.

but nothing quite grosses me out as much as flatulence and feces…

especially when it is being released by your significant other!

the other evening, i was holding a lengthy conversation regarding the above mentioned matter, with someone who is 11 years my junior.

i was reiterating my stance on the subject of how it would make me absolutely sick if my lover were to fart in front of me, particularly after i had let him know that that is something i physically cannot tolerate, when she made a seemingly good point…

she said, “you should feel lucky if your boyfriend wants to be that comfortable with you… i wish my boyfriend was fart comfortable with me.”

and as much as even the thought of it makes me cringe, i took a moment to let that statement settle in my mind.

am i being selfish and asking for too much?

am i taking away what appears to be a huge part of most men’s lives?

and ultimately, will my relationships be doomed because i am uncomfortable with my boyfriends’ bowel movements?

now, i am one of the most vulgar individuals i know.

and it truly takes a lot to offend me when it comes to crude and uncouth conduct…

but is it too bourgeoisie of me to not want to engage in bathroom behavior with the person i am intimate with?

i realize that this is obviously a part of everyday life…

and of course, there will be instances where they will unfortunately be unable to hold it in…

however, cutting the cheese just for shits and giggles (no pun intended) seems a tad bit disrespectful, in my opinion…

not to mention incredibly unattractive and a huge turn-off.

so in an attempt to try to veer my severely dramatic mind, i approached a member of the opposite sex with my feelings and told him i would be willing to make a compromise with my sweetheart, if the moment ever came about…

i said, “if he is going to pass gas then i would want him to warn me first so that i could mentally prepare for it…”

to which he so eloquently responded, “that’s like taking away mother nature’s punch line… the whole point is to just drop it on them.”

with that being said, RIP to letting it rip.

the m.a.s.h. made in heaven.

11 Wednesday Jan 2012

Posted by in relationship revelations

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

i have always been a fan of childhood games…

primarily because the whole “i don’t want to grow up” saying has started to become much more prominent as i edge closer and closer to my late-20’s.

one particular favorite has remained consistent with me since my younger days…

and i admit with great pride that i continue to actively play it.

of course that amazing gem of a game is none other than M.A.S.H…

less commonly known as “mansion, apartment, shack, house”.

for those who are far too young to be familiar with it (and really, what a shame for you and your generation), M.A.S.H. was nothing more than a piece of paper, a pen or pencil, six simple categories, and a willing friend who could hopefully keep your secrets.

you would start out writing “M.A.S.H.” at the top of the page…

then subsequently below it, you would pan out the categories consisting of variations of “Husband/Wife”, “Car”, “Number of Kids”, “Honeymoon” and lastly the letters “M-D-W”, which would ultimately determine whether you and your chosen spouse would remain married, get a nasty (and hopefully prenup-signed) divorce, or if your marriage would end in a tragic death, resulting in your becoming a widow and maybe getting yourself on an episode of “SNAPPED”.

typically you would get to choose three crushes names/brands/numbers/places in each category (which more than always concluded with obnoxious and over-the-top choices, because we’d obviously only want the best for ourselves)…

and then your friend would get to throw your whole fantasy life off-track by choosing mostly negative and humorous options that would make you absolutely miserable.

finally, the most critical part would come about:

the tick marks!

your friend would draw a box and start making tiny tick marks until you told them to stop…

and then they would tally it up and start scratching off these names and cars and numbers and places where you would love to have your honeymoon, until you were left with a single response in each category.

i would usually end up married to the disappointment my malicious friend chose for me, while driving around in a really snazzy car that i definitely could not afford, seeing as how i was living in a shack with my 97 children who would inevitably have been the product of my glorious honeymoon in the Bahamas!

needless to say, i never really got what i wanted.

yet my infatuation with my beloved pastime never ceased…

because even then, in my adolescence, i knew not to give up on what i thought i deserved…

which just happened to be the perfect life.

just like M.A.S.H., we all have choices…

who we want to be with, what kind of car we want to drive around in…

truly, the list goes on and on.

however, as my results proved time and time again from the wads of paper building up in my waste basket (and from some unfortunate real life occurrences), the final score does not always place us in the admirable ‘winners circle’…

so i continue to try again until the outcome is in my favor.

because as much as i love my 97 M.A.S.H.-made children, i think we would be a lot happier prancing around in a mansion, than confined to a life of wretchedness in a shack.

current tick mark count: 557