Monthly Archives: April 2013

the soul mate spectacle.

23 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by in enlightening evaluations

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the soul mate spectacle.i believe in one soul mate…

i don’t believe that there are multiple people out there for every individual person.

because that’s what a soul mate is:

a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament…

a person whom you share one soul with.

i do think that maybe sometimes you end up with the wrong person for a substantially lengthy amount of time…

and the reason why you feel like that person is “the one” is because you have been together for so long.

but what if you’re not meant to be?

it’s no secret that i think a lot about my future…

who my husband will be and how many children we will have and where we will live and when we will make our first big decision together and what our careers will be and why can’t i just have all of these questions answered right now?!

however, not once during these thoughts do i imagine myself unhappy.

because building that relationship that leads to a marriage and then creating from that union, that to me is the epitome of contentment.

and i feel as though the older one gets, those thoughts start to become more prominent and take up more space in the forefront of the brain…

but as i always tend to do, i question…

and everything that i once thought just seems to be getting more and more scrambled and convoluted.

i mean, no matter how many guys i have prematurely allowed myself to “fall in love” with, i have only ever felt impending wedded bliss with just two men in my life…

you know, that feeling that i cannot physically live without this person and that forever would still not be enough time with him?

but one of them turned out to be gay, so really what the fuck do i know anyway, right?

so maybe a soul mate is not someone who needs to have exactly the same interests as me, but he will also not make mine seem less important than his…

maybe it is someone who dislikes the same things as i do, and that right there could be our similarity.

but no matter what my soul mate and i have in common or don’t, he just needs to be someone who gets me…

so even though he’s got me, does he really get me?

the last year of my twenties.

04 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by in dramatic diatribes

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the last year of my twenties.my twenty-ninth birthday is in exactly eleven days, so i kind of feel like being a bitch…

which to be completely honest is nothing new.

and as long as i am being truthful, twenty-nine is a really fucking ugly number…

so sorry to all of you little muffins whose lucky number is 29.

it’s a dumb number…

therefore, you’re all dumb.

i’m not saying that being born on freakin’ Tax Day has been such a joyous blessing, seeing as how all of the irresponsible slow-pokes stress out over the impending loom of April 15th…

but since it means that most of you (or your parents or maybe even someone in your family) possibly aided in the public funds the hospital used for my birth, then i think that makes me pretty damn special.

but since i am shuddering at the thought of this being the last year of my twenties, i just feel like i can spend the next twelve months being a complete brat-slash-nuisance because i can never again blame my bullshit outbursts on my “awesome adolescence” or “yummy youth”.

and i don’t give a fuck what any of you say:

30 is not the new 20.

30 is not your prime.

30 is not still young.

being 30 is hoity-toity old, so kindly kiss my ass.

anyway, i’m not thirty yet, so let’s all take a chill pill and regroup…

(also, if you are in your thirties, JK about the last five sentences!)

here’s the thing…

we have been programmed at an early age to believe that at this point in our lives we need to have everything figured out…

or at least most things.

anywhere from the age of twenty-seven and up is probably the most crucial time for us to hunker down, saddle up and get our fucking shit together…

and although i realize that every generation is different, and that my group of Generation Y dick-holes have been progressing later and later than say the Baby Boomers, i can’t help but feel as if i am falling behind even if i am right on my pre-destined track.

with that being said, this time last year, i decided to make a public birthday wish on my blog:

i wished to somehow get noticed for my writing and to maybe become published somewhere well-known…

and literally five days later, i appeared on the front page of the Huffington Post – Los Angeles with my article, “The Disbelief in Our Beliefs”.

but since this year i don’t want to push my ‘Birthday Girl Lucky Streak’, i have decided to keep my fingers/toes crossed and my mouth sealed shut as i blow out my hopefully glittery-neon candle with one of the most profoundly important wishes of my young-adulthood…

i’ll let you know how it turns out in about a year.

cakecakecakecake,

can’twaittoblowmycandlesout!