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Monthly Archives: May 2013

the ex-tracurricular activity.

30 Thursday May 2013

Posted by shekardaneh in humorous happenings

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Tags

activity, app, extracurricular, Facebook, Instagram, internet, networking, notifications, social, Twitter

the ex-tracurricular activity.social networking sites are my vice.

they are also my not so guilty pleasure and the highlight of my mundane workdays…

but mostly, they are the most amusing and simultaneously annoying things to ever exist.

and i love the shit out of each and every one of them!

which is why i am always connected…

whether it is via app alerts, emails or text messages, i am always available to comment, direct message, like, post or reply.

and although this can become more of a pain than a pleasantry, i have yet to change any of the settings to disable the majority of these notifications…

because i kind of enjoy the constant updates…

on my own terms, of course.

but two nights ago, i think i finally reached my limit!

it was about 10PM and i was getting ready to slowly disconnect myself from all of the internet activity i like to engage in prior to my bedtime…

this basically means checking Facebook, Instagram and Twitter one last time before placing my iPhone on Do Not Disturb.

right as i was about to detach my brain from the “online world”, i received an email from Twitter…

this is nothing new for me because they usually send some sort of ‘we want to stay relevant’ announcement almost daily.

however, i received this email pretty late, which i found to be rather odd…

and when i read the subject line, my face perfectly resembled the unamused emoji that i tend to replicate quite often IRL.

it read, “Do you know ____ _____ on Twitter?”

the name i so thoughtfully blanked out was in fact, an ex-boyfriend.

at first i sort of chuckled and thought, “well Twitter, i thought i knew him too, buuuut…”

and then i became pretty agitated.

i mean it is no secret that, more often than not, our friendships/relationships play an integral role in our constant offering of information to these public forums…

so why can’t the sites that we frequent almost robotically take the time to do their due diligence before spamming out these macabre suggestions?

luckily for me, that email was more comical than it was crippling…

but for those unfortunate souls who have yet to move on or are still plagued by the wretched people from their past, this sort of reminder could be debilitating if not momentarily defeating.

so get your fucking shit together, social media…

your lack of stalking skills is deplorably ironic!

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the flossing fiasco.

23 Thursday May 2013

Posted by shekardaneh in enlightening evaluations

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

accustomed, adapt, change, educated, fiasco, flossing, growing, habitually, learning, relearn

the flossing fiasco.a few nights ago before curling up with my blankets and floating away into my subconscious, i had a bit of an “A-HA” moment…

i was getting ready for bed which is quite the process in itself:

–          floss

–          brush teeth

–          wash face

–          exfoliate

–          moisturize

but before i started engaging in my nightly ritual, i called my dad in to the bathroom to kill a monstrous mosquito for me…

(it had really long legs and was about two inches wide, so i am assuming that’s what it was?)

anyway, he went into his usual bit of how you shouldn’t kill this type of insect because they eat other bugs, etc. and i went on to tell him that i don’t care about that because we don’t live in the wilderness…

and also, it was fucking humongous!

(just kidding, PETA!)

right after the deed was done, i began flossing my teeth…

and that is when my father made a truly mind-boggling statement to me as he was leaving:

he said, “you’re doing it wrong.”

(wait, WHAT?!)

of course at first i thought he was joking.

i mean, i obviously know that nobody actually enjoys flossing their teeth unless they have just finished delving into a juicy steak and floss is their only savior…

and really, we just want to get it over with.

but how could there possibly be an incorrect way of doing it?

mind you, I AM 29 YEARS OLD!

[twenty. nine.]

after i shook off the perplexed look on my face and tried really hard to tell him that he was wrong, [because i was having a really difficult time wrapping my head around his statement], i took a brief minute to regroup and reflect…

we are always told that we never stop learning…

and while i wholeheartedly believe this to be true, i would have never thought that there would be a moment when what i grew up thinking was absolutely accurate and something that i had become so accustomed to doing a certain way, would actually throw me for a massive loop many years later and preemptively force me to change.

but that is kind of the beauty in growing, right?

we are gifted with this incredible ability to relearn and adapt, and essentially to revise and accept even the toughest truths…

so we would be greatly mistaken to assume or believe that we have nothing left to learn or teach no matter how many times we have habitually done something.

stay educated…

stay hungry.

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