i have always been a fan of childhood games…

primarily because the whole “i don’t want to grow up” saying has started to become much more prominent as i edge closer and closer to my late-20’s.

one particular favorite has remained consistent with me since my younger days…

and i admit with great pride that i continue to actively play it.

of course that amazing gem of a game is none other than M.A.S.H…

less commonly known as “mansion, apartment, shack, house”.

for those who are far too young to be familiar with it (and really, what a shame for you and your generation), M.A.S.H. was nothing more than a piece of paper, a pen or pencil, six simple categories, and a willing friend who could hopefully keep your secrets.

you would start out writing “M.A.S.H.” at the top of the page…

then subsequently below it, you would pan out the categories consisting of variations of “Husband/Wife”, “Car”, “Number of Kids”, “Honeymoon” and lastly the letters “M-D-W”, which would ultimately determine whether you and your chosen spouse would remain married, get a nasty (and hopefully prenup-signed) divorce, or if your marriage would end in a tragic death, resulting in your becoming a widow and maybe getting yourself on an episode of “SNAPPED”.

typically you would get to choose three crushes names/brands/numbers/places in each category (which more than always concluded with obnoxious and over-the-top choices, because we’d obviously only want the best for ourselves)…

and then your friend would get to throw your whole fantasy life off-track by choosing mostly negative and humorous options that would make you absolutely miserable.

finally, the most critical part would come about:

the tick marks!

your friend would draw a box and start making tiny tick marks until you told them to stop…

and then they would tally it up and start scratching off these names and cars and numbers and places where you would love to have your honeymoon, until you were left with a single response in each category.

i would usually end up married to the disappointment my malicious friend chose for me, while driving around in a really snazzy car that i definitely could not afford, seeing as how i was living in a shack with my 97 children who would inevitably have been the product of my glorious honeymoon in the Bahamas!

needless to say, i never really got what i wanted.

yet my infatuation with my beloved pastime never ceased…

because even then, in my adolescence, i knew not to give up on what i thought i deserved…

which just happened to be the perfect life.

just like M.A.S.H., we all have choices…

who we want to be with, what kind of car we want to drive around in…

truly, the list goes on and on.

however, as my results proved time and time again from the wads of paper building up in my waste basket (and from some unfortunate real life occurrences), the final score does not always place us in the admirable ‘winners circle’…

so i continue to try again until the outcome is in my favor.

because as much as i love my 97 M.A.S.H.-made children, i think we would be a lot happier prancing around in a mansion, than confined to a life of wretchedness in a shack.

current tick mark count: 557