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Monthly Archives: July 2012

the abbrv.

31 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by shekardaneh in dramatic diatribes

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Tags

abbreviations, abbrv, acronyms, emojis, iPhone, language, lazy, LOL, roaming, texting

the human race has become lazy!

L-A-Z-Y, lazy.

we no longer want to embark on anything that could potentially take us longer than two minutes…

and i’m not quite certain if that has to do with our being too busy, or if we have simply lost all patience.

regardless of the reasoning, the verifiable truth remains that the majority of us are basically roaming through our lives absolutely comatose and careless…

and i solely blame the texting generation for this.

with the superfluity of abbreviations and acronyms devised to make texting conversations accelerated and effortless, we have lost the true essence and invariable nature of language…

and furthermore, we have managed to replace proper emotions with “emoji’s” and “symbols” produced to conveniently mirror the expressions on our faces.

not to conclude that i am above this handy lifestyle, because to be honest, i will emoji-fuck the shit out of anyone with an iPhone all day and LOL my AO all the way to the Apple Store…

but when i receive a text message, and the word ‘you’ has been shortened to “u”, i begin to question the faith of humankind and the inevitable loss of dialect.

i mean, seriously?!

you abbreviated a three-letter word!

is there anything more half-hearted than seemingly not having the time to type in two extra letters, which by the way, are all directly next to one another on any given keyboard?!

one can only conclude that this person was in the middle of something severely urgent and grandeur which resulted in their having only the slightest few and precious moments to respond, and thus, could not be bothered to write out a whole three-letter word…

that appears to be the only plausible explanation for such a preposterous act.

have we all just become perfunctory usageasters who have been forced to adapt to the death of whole words and full sentences?

and worst of all, who the hell was responsible for slaughtering our gorgeous grammar and pulchritudinous punctuation?

ugh.

idk…

gtg.

ttyl…

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the damsel in stress.

17 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by shekardaneh in dramatic diatribes

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Tags

damsel, distress, female, girls, girly, guys, hero, in, male, stress

i am at my most vulnerable when the “check engine” light comes on in my car.

i suddenly feel the urge to call up every guy i know and ask if they can telepathically tell me what is wrong with my vehicle…

and even though it almost always means that it’s time for my oil change, it’s kind of comforting knowing that i can pull out my girly card and become the damsel in distress.

being a girl has some perks…

sometimes.

sure, we get the shitty part of the gender deal what with all of the periods and cramps and birthing bits that we have to tolerate…

but for the most part, i don’t think i would choose being male over female.

and let’s be realistic here, nowadays you most certainly have that as an option…

nonetheless, there are a number of things that frustrate me about the assumptions that guys make about girls:

  • do not presume that simply because i am moody or have an angry disposition, that it is “that time of the month”…

there are millions of other factors that could be the cause of that, and maybe, just maybe, one of them is that moronic fucking statement that boys love to so easily blame it on.

  • just because i am fully capable of opening the car door for myself, it doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be a nice gesture if you went out of your way to do it for me instead…

who in the fuck killed chivalry and why didn’t anybody try to revive it?

  • do not presume that all girls are whores who are looking to hook up with any guy that gives them the teensiest bit of attention…

being flirty and being friendly are actually two different things, so when we’re just being polite, it’s probably best that you don’t think we’re just being prostitutes.

  • just because i am coming to you with a problem, it doesn’t necessarily mean that i need you to solve it…

sometimes, it’s just nice to have someone to vent to that will simply listen and be mute.

naturally, this list can overflow as could the ‘what girls do to irk guys’ one, but i’m sure those topics have also been exhausted ad nauseam.

needless to say, i may not always need a hero…

but i wouldn’t mind having someone to save the day, once in a while.

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