i have a “thing” about skin…

skin care, that is.

this is not to say that i necessarily have good skin…

but i most definitely take the appropriate steps in order to make sure that i do not acquire bad skin.

of course, throughout my growth spurts (and i don’t mean height wise), i would go through some serious mental anguish over what i self-diagnosed as “acne” (which it wasn’t)…

so naturally, at the mere sign of its existence, i would cake on cover-up that was waaaay too white for my skin-tone and use products that today, i would consider absolutely diabolical.

just recently i was telling a friend of mine about a gnarly pimple that i had…

[i realize that this sounds grossly unattractive, but let’s not pretend that i am alone in this cogitation… we all get them.]

anyway, this zit (i hate that word) had disrupted my usual flow of well, not getting them…

and the worst part of it all was that it spent a gooood portion of time just sort of relaxing and basically vacationing underneath my skin (probably with a flipping Mai Tai and everything).

after about four days of its annoying inhabitation, i became increasingly impatient!

how is it that it had almost been a week and this ungodly excrescence had yet to come to a head?

like, what in the actual fuck was it waiting for?!

so, i decided to do what any “sane” person would…

i settled on coaxing it out.

i began with some reasoning and gentle persuasion…

“hey you… you crazy little blemish. whatchya’ doin’ in there?”

that attempt was futile.

then i became pretty irrational and characteristically petulant…

“look man… i know you’re in there. you can come out now!”

that too fell on deaf ears.

so after many unsuccessful conversations with myself and this atrocious monster, and having almost finished an entire tube of concealer on literally just one spot, i have come to finally accept this lovely lady lump as a part of my life now…

going to go and submit it for The Guinness World Records…

pray for me.