Tag Archives: birthday

the big three uh oh.

23 Friday May 2014

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the big three oh.exactly thirty-eight days ago, i embarked on yet another milestone birthday!

and this was the BIG one…

(well, the biggest one to date…)

the one that rhymes with such alluring words as:

–  Dirty

–  Flirty

–  Purdy

–  Sturdy

(you get the drift of it…)

ahhhh yes, the BIG 3-0!

10,957 days, 262,968 hours, 15,778,080 minutes, and 946,684,800 seconds older…

but who’s counting?!

so like most people my age, i was simultaneously dreaming of and dreading it…

but after spending the entire month of April celebrating its inevitable arrival, i ended up getting over it almost as quickly as it popped up…

and to be completely honest, not too much has changed.

however, i have noticed a few differences that i am not necessarily thrilled about:

–      i have about five actual white hairs… i swear the minute it became midnight, those little fuckers just blissfully sprouted out!

–      i still do not like wine… i was under the impression that when i hit my 30’s, that i would somehow develop an affinity for it, but alas, i was mistaken.

–      i have a single wrinkle over my left eyebrow that is currently wreaking a ton of havoc on my forehead… and it is making me extremely uncomfortable!

–      i have attended an engagement, wedding, or baby shower almost every week… and i am still over here like, well, if you even kind of sort of enjoy it, then maybe you might want to consider putting a ring, string or placeholder on it?

but one thing will remain true no matter how many years pass me by…

i may be getting older, but growing up is never an option.

now, LET THEM EAT CAKE!

the last year of my twenties.

04 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by in dramatic diatribes

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the last year of my twenties.my twenty-ninth birthday is in exactly eleven days, so i kind of feel like being a bitch…

which to be completely honest is nothing new.

and as long as i am being truthful, twenty-nine is a really fucking ugly number…

so sorry to all of you little muffins whose lucky number is 29.

it’s a dumb number…

therefore, you’re all dumb.

i’m not saying that being born on freakin’ Tax Day has been such a joyous blessing, seeing as how all of the irresponsible slow-pokes stress out over the impending loom of April 15th…

but since it means that most of you (or your parents or maybe even someone in your family) possibly aided in the public funds the hospital used for my birth, then i think that makes me pretty damn special.

but since i am shuddering at the thought of this being the last year of my twenties, i just feel like i can spend the next twelve months being a complete brat-slash-nuisance because i can never again blame my bullshit outbursts on my “awesome adolescence” or “yummy youth”.

and i don’t give a fuck what any of you say:

30 is not the new 20.

30 is not your prime.

30 is not still young.

being 30 is hoity-toity old, so kindly kiss my ass.

anyway, i’m not thirty yet, so let’s all take a chill pill and regroup…

(also, if you are in your thirties, JK about the last five sentences!)

here’s the thing…

we have been programmed at an early age to believe that at this point in our lives we need to have everything figured out…

or at least most things.

anywhere from the age of twenty-seven and up is probably the most crucial time for us to hunker down, saddle up and get our fucking shit together…

and although i realize that every generation is different, and that my group of Generation Y dick-holes have been progressing later and later than say the Baby Boomers, i can’t help but feel as if i am falling behind even if i am right on my pre-destined track.

with that being said, this time last year, i decided to make a public birthday wish on my blog:

i wished to somehow get noticed for my writing and to maybe become published somewhere well-known…

and literally five days later, i appeared on the front page of the Huffington Post – Los Angeles with my article, “The Disbelief in Our Beliefs”.

but since this year i don’t want to push my ‘Birthday Girl Lucky Streak’, i have decided to keep my fingers/toes crossed and my mouth sealed shut as i blow out my hopefully glittery-neon candle with one of the most profoundly important wishes of my young-adulthood…

i’ll let you know how it turns out in about a year.

cakecakecakecake,

can’twaittoblowmycandlesout!

the birthday wish.

05 Thursday Apr 2012

Posted by in dramatic diatribes

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on April 15th, i will be turning 28…

and as wonderful as i usually make my birthday out to be, i can’t exactly say if it is something that i am looking forward to this time around.

typically, i do a yearly recap of my previous age in order to see what i have accomplished and how i can improve the following year…

but reflecting right now doesn’t seem so appeasing.

don’t get me wrong…

i do have a lot going for me.

and i am in no way complaining about my life, because it is pretty satisfying…

but where i envisioned myself at this age is most definitely not where i am…

and being simply “satisfied” is not something that i strive to settle for.

growing up, i imagined that by my late-20’s i would be a somebody:

a somebody with a dazzling something job, living in an amazing somewhere with an incredible someone and a beautifully charming family of my own…

but i’m not there yet.

and currently looking at my calendar, i’m not even close!

(of course i also thought that i would be a renowned movie star who doubled as an insanely perfect singer…)

nonetheless, how is it that at such a young age i was so certain of where i would be…

and now that i’m actually here, i’m not?

is it safe to assume that the plans that i had when i was younger were merely a figment of my colorful imagination?

and as unsure as i sound, am i really going to be okay with it?

i am definitely not one to coincide a person’s age with whether or not they should be married…

or how long before it’s too long to have children…

and my stance on that matter has yet to change.

therefore, i believe that maybe my biggest botheration is with where i am at (or really, am not) in my desired career…

so seeing as how i get to make one truly ideal wish, i am publicly wishing to become a famous writer for a deliciously fabulous magazine.

and even though you are technically not supposed to tell people what you wished for, for fear that it won’t come true; i’m trying a few things differently in this 28th year of my life…

so happy birthday month, Shekardaneh…

and here’s to countless more.

cheers!