i purposely waited until mid-January to transcribe my first post of 2014…

mostly because i have been extremely preoccupied doing everything but writing and also because i have been uncharacteristically lazy.

(like honestly, how are there so many hours in a day and so little time to just fucking sleep?!)

however, i am not here to complain less than 31 days into the new year…

i am actually hoping to reduce my griping considerably within the next 11 or so months.

and that is where i once again begin my rather unsuccessful journey into comprising some New Year’s Resolutions…

here’s the thing, i rarely like doing this because failing at anything is not something that i take very nonchalantly…

i mean, if we are our own worst critics than i am like one of those god awful commenters on a political post who counterblows every single remark with brutality and irreversible ferocity.

(basically, i am an extremely sore loser!)

but, just like clockwork, the minute the countdown ended at midnight, i was already conspiring a mental list of what i hope to achieve by January 2015…

and quite surprisingly, i have already been able to check a few off.

so i guess, here we go again:

Shekardaneh’s 2014 “Resolutions” Or Whatever

• cut out artificiality from my life and that does not only mean food-wise, it means people who are toxic, worthless and venomous
• don’t eat meat for 30 days AKA ‘Meatless Month’, because i am Beyoncé [currently on day three of thirty!]
• plan less and become more spontaneous, because although i thrive off of it being a complete control freak and all, that shit can get really exhausting
• post pictures to my Instagram for my 350+ followers, because they deserve it for being so unnecessarily loyal [already have 20 up, so follow me for a great time: @shekardaneh!]
• refrain from taking photos of unfortunate people and posting them on my social media sites, because i don’t want to have ugly kids as karma
• restart my 401K contributions, but just so that i can retire way sooner than later [filled out the paperwork yesterday!]
• wear jeans for my boyfriend who has consistently, and very nicely, asked me to do so for the last three+ years

and last but not least, live a life that someone would one day want to read about in my book…

happy new year, psychos…

let’s turn these to-do’s into ta-da’s!