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the ungrateful gobbler.this is my absolute favorite time of the year!

not because it is chilly (SoCal does not know how to be cold) and cuddling is the only sport i know how to play (snuggling and spooning constitute as competitive athleticism)…

but because layering on more clothing and wearing oversized sweaters gives me ample space to fill out a little more, if you will.

in other words, it is almost Thanksgiving and eating food is something i am exceptionally good at.

for the past couple of years, i have upheld a “tradition” of jotting down certain ‘nouns’ that i am thankful for…

two years ago, my list was pretty generic:

family, friends, significant other, etc.

last year, my list was a bit more unorthodox:

less obvious people, places, things, etc.

therefore this year, i have decided to list stuff that i am unthankful for…

because even the more annoying aspects of life deserve a dishonorable mention.

so please refer to the bullet points below, as i arrange some of the things i can really do without, in no particular order…

  • any type of smokers
  • cheapskates
  • idiots who pronounce Saturday as Sourday
  • Madonna’s veins
  • people who constantly talk about their weight when they are not even fat or overweight

(motherfuckin’shutthehellupppp)

  • perpetual laggers or even worse, ones that do not call when they are going to be late

(tsk-tsk)

  • assholes
  • folks who endlessly whine about being broke/continuously brag about their riches
  • coworkers who still come in to the office when they are deathly sick
  • individuals who cannot spell correctly/lack of punctuation in text messages
  • extremely private people who want to keep everything a secret

(you’re not mysterious, you’re creepy)

  • couples who share social media profiles

(get it together, crazies)

  • someone who is fully capable of doing something, but asks you to do it instead
  • shit sandwich breath, unkempt bathrooms and wheezing coughs
  • people who overstay their fucking welcome
  • bitches

PHEW!

of course, there is soooo much more that i could add, but i am also thankless about complainers.

anyway, enjoy your day/evening of devouring deliciousness and guzzling gluttony…

because you totally deserve it.

[eye roll]

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