i tend to find a lot of things to be rather disgusting…

from talking with your mouth full to washing dishes in a bathroom sink, there are just certain manners (or lack thereof) that sits relatively high on my list of strong aversions.

but nothing quite grosses me out as much as flatulence and feces…

especially when it is being released by your significant other!

the other evening, i was holding a lengthy conversation regarding the above mentioned matter, with someone who is 11 years my junior.

i was reiterating my stance on the subject of how it would make me absolutely sick if my lover were to fart in front of me, particularly after i had let him know that that is something i physically cannot tolerate, when she made a seemingly good point…

she said, “you should feel lucky if your boyfriend wants to be that comfortable with you… i wish my boyfriend was fart comfortable with me.”

and as much as even the thought of it makes me cringe, i took a moment to let that statement settle in my mind.

am i being selfish and asking for too much?

am i taking away what appears to be a huge part of most men’s lives?

and ultimately, will my relationships be doomed because i am uncomfortable with my boyfriends’ bowel movements?

now, i am one of the most vulgar individuals i know.

and it truly takes a lot to offend me when it comes to crude and uncouth conduct…

but is it too bourgeoisie of me to not want to engage in bathroom behavior with the person i am intimate with?

i realize that this is obviously a part of everyday life…

and of course, there will be instances where they will unfortunately be unable to hold it in…

however, cutting the cheese just for shits and giggles (no pun intended) seems a tad bit disrespectful, in my opinion…

not to mention incredibly unattractive and a huge turn-off.

so in an attempt to try to veer my severely dramatic mind, i approached a member of the opposite sex with my feelings and told him i would be willing to make a compromise with my sweetheart, if the moment ever came about…

i said, “if he is going to pass gas then i would want him to warn me first so that i could mentally prepare for it…”

to which he so eloquently responded, “that’s like taking away mother nature’s punch line… the whole point is to just drop it on them.”

with that being said, RIP to letting it rip.