i don’t really like nature.

okay, that sounds a bit harsh…

how about, i don’t necessarily care so much for it.

is that any less uncouth?

do not get me wrong…

i am super into sunrises and sunsets and truly all of the beauty that it has to offer.

i mean, i am constantly bombarding my social media pages with pictures of it!

but i kind of just do not want to always be exposed to it, per se.

like, the sun is aggravatingly bright and blistering…

and it makes me sticky with sweat and i literally cannot even with perspiration.

then there is that annoying ass whirling wind…

it literally chaps my lips and my hide and it gets my perfectly coiffed mane all kinds of caught up in my too-expensive-to-keep-reapplying lip gloss.

and don’t evennnn get me started on dirt…

no but really, what exactly is the point of your existence?!

well besides ruining my shoes/life and somehow managing to surpass my eyelashes to lodge itself directly into my cornea.

CAN I LIVE??!!

here’s the thing…

i am 100% comfortable staying in a space that is completely sterile, sipping on a weather appropriate beverage, and just soaking up the artificial air being projected towards me via my handy-dandy built-in system.

so basicallyyyy…

Mother Nature,

#IDFWU.