the matter of fact.

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the matter of fact.things matter.

they really do…

it matters when someone is nice to you…

or when someone is mean to you…

when someone flashes you an unexpected smile…

or when someone just decides to be a fucking dick for no reason.

because if things didn’t matter, and we constantly felt indifferent, then we would be nothing…

we would have nothing.

feelings would not exist and happiness and sadness would be scarce, if at all present…

days would mesh into nights and sunrises and sunsets would become dreary and humdrum.

and that just fucking sucks.

so realize what you do…

understand that the energy you put out there and the aura that surrounds you…

that it isn’t just your own “personal” thing.

this world does not only consist of you…

the people all around you, whether you know them on any real level or not, they can sense that shit, too.

negativity is defeating.

it brings down anyone in your vicinity…

it fucking engulfs you.

positivity is overbearing.

it lifts you up and gives you an unbelievable high.

it is absolutely magnetic.

but both of these things become exhausting.

so find that balance

be the in-between!

let sadness come and wash over you.

let happiness in with every breath and then let it go.

everything in moderation…

and moderation in moderation, too.

find that comfort zone…

stress the fuck out.

just do shit…

any-fucking-thing and subsequently, nothing-at-all.

because everything is magical…

and everything is insignificant…

and we should be responsible for our own actions, regardless of the outcome.

so let’s take some ownership…

we owe it to ourselves.

 

the negative nancy.

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the negative nancy.i am not typically a very positive person…

to be completely honest, i find those types of people to be extremely annoying…

i mean, there has to be something wrong with them, right?

and i suppose the same could be said about how affirmative people look at say, someone like me…

a person who is maybe a tad more balanced on the emotional spectrum…

kind of, not really?

but how is it that some individuals are constantly content with their everyday lives even if their reality is no more than mundane and routine?

and i am not even trying to be a bitch about it…

i am really just attempting to understand it.

i don’t know if most folks are like me, but i habitually walk around with a cynical and sarcastic attitude…

it is not that i am dissatisfied or ungrateful…

i kind of just don’t care and then tend to care a little too much simultaneously.

it is indifference at its best…

and whenever i want to sort of be ‘upset’ or “woe is me – can somebody please call me the WAHmbulance” about life, those types of people are the absolute hardest to talk to.

look, venting is a thing

it is a mechanism i tend to gravitate towards quite often.

and it sure as hell is a lot healthier than bottling something up and then exploding into a vehement attack…

and most of the time, simply letting it out is therapeutic in itself…

so if i have had an exceptionally vexing moment or hour or a full-on day, i am not looking for someone to resolve my issue or give me words of inspiration and motivation…

i just want a listening ear so that i can freely spew out my cartridge of foul-mouthed ammunition, a la the Exorcist, and then gradually move on from it.

so even though some people will weigh out the pros more than the cons…

and claim that their cups are always half full, even though that idiom doesn’t even make sense because a cup is ALWAYS HALF FULL…

let us all just agree that being consistently complacent is numbingly neurotic, and displaying more than one type of emotion is adeptly acceptable.

everything is going to be A-OK, mmkay?!

the casual cover letter.

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the casual cover letter.i have an exorbitant amount of free time on my hands…

and to be honest, i feel rather fortunate that even though i work nine hours a day, five days a week, that i can still find many moments to kind of just do whatever i want…

at my desk, of course.

it’s not to say that my occupation isn’t mentally stimulating…

well, it isn’t…

but still, any time i mention the kind of company i work at to someone, they become so intrigued and think, “wow, that must be interesting!”

but they are incorrect…

at least to me.

and so i started to think a lot about that…

how people are so quick to assume that because something sounds good, it must be awesome.

or how when someone simply mentions a well-known company to me, i think how lucky they are to be a part of it…

when in actuality, their job could completely suck balls and i would have no idea because i am on the outside looking in.

so why the fuck do we do that?

why does everything look so much better than what we currently have?

i have a lot.

at least that is what i am told…

and compared to many ill-fated individuals, i may seemingly have a fortune…

so believe me when i say that i am in no way ungrateful.

however, there are a number of key things that i still need in order to be satisfied, or at least fulfilled…

and in due time, i believe those too will come to fruition.

but being the complete “millennial” that i am, i don’t have the patience to wait for it…

and i most definitely do not feel that after all of this time, i still have to work towards it.

some may call that being lazy

i just think i’m over it.

so i guess what i am trying to say is that i need a new job.

#hireme

the annual to do list.

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the annual to do list.i purposely waited until mid-January to transcribe my first post of 2014…

mostly because i have been extremely preoccupied doing everything but writing and also because i have been uncharacteristically lazy.

(like honestly, how are there so many hours in a day and so little time to just fucking sleep?!)

however, i am not here to complain less than 31 days into the new year…

i am actually hoping to reduce my griping considerably within the next 11 or so months.

and that is where i once again begin my rather unsuccessful journey into comprising some New Year’s Resolutions…

here’s the thing, i rarely like doing this because failing at anything is not something that i take very nonchalantly…

i mean, if we are our own worst critics than i am like one of those god awful commenters on a political post who counterblows every single remark with brutality and irreversible ferocity.

(basically, i am an extremely sore loser!)

but, just like clockwork, the minute the countdown ended at midnight, i was already conspiring a mental list of what i hope to achieve by January 2015…

and quite surprisingly, i have already been able to check a few off.

so i guess, here we go again:

Shekardaneh’s 2014 “Resolutions” Or Whatever

  • cut out artificiality from my life and that does not only mean food-wise, it means people who are toxic, worthless and venomous
  • don’t eat meat for 30 days AKA ‘Meatless Month’, because i am Beyoncé [currently on day three of thirty!]
  • plan less and become more spontaneous, because although i thrive off of it being a complete control freak and all, that shit can get really exhausting
  • post pictures to my Instagram for my 350+ followers, because they deserve it for being so unnecessarily loyal [already have 20 up, so follow me for a great time: @shekardaneh!]
  • refrain from taking photos of unfortunate people and posting them on my social media sites, because i don’t want to have ugly kids as karma
  • restart my 401K contributions, but just so that i can retire way sooner than later [filled out the paperwork yesterday!]
  • wear jeans for my boyfriend who has consistently, and very nicely, asked me to do so for the last three+ years

and last but not least, live a life that someone would one day want to read about in my book…

happy new year, psychos…

let’s turn these to-do’s into ta-da’s!

the new year.

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the new year.in approximately 24 hours, we will have concluded yet another year…

2013 will be just a fart in the wind and all of the memories that we had made will only be remembered through random pictures, relatable posts and romantic walks down anamnesis lane provided by our favorite social media websites.

this past year has not necessarily been a good or bad one for me.

i think i have spent the majority of the last 364 days sort of in limbo…

just kind of being present in the everyday and mentally skidding on through to the next.

basically, i have neither loved it nor hated it…

and being indifferent has become almost habitual.

sure, there have been the usual ups and downs that we all suspect will occur…

and there have been many grandeur changes in the lives of some of the people i care deeply about…

but personally, nothing life altering…

which could be a blessing in itself.

and please do not misconstrue what i am saying…

i am in no way ungrateful nor taking anything i experienced for granted.

however, i am really looking forward to the countdown tomorrow at 11:59 PM…

because at that exact moment, i, along with many others, will be able to wipe the theoretical slate clean and begin anew once more…

and i find that to be absolutely relieving.

so here is to the last few unimportant hours left of two-thousand-thirteen…

i appreciate you and thank you for your abundance of laughs and afflux of lessons.

but 2014, i am fucking ready for you…

in all of your guts and glory, i am ready to succumb to all that you have to offer…

and i can only hope that it will be mostly beautiful.

and i wish that yours will be, too.

Happy Two-Thousand-Fourteen!

see you soon…

 

the most wonderful time of the year.

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the most wonderful time of the year.i have mentioned before that this is my favorite time of the year…

any time between mid-November until the first of the New Year is just the most gloriously magical, yet equally stressful, couple of months…

but even with all of the hustle and bustle, the perpetual running around and slew of events, nothing warms my cold, dead heart more than the holiday season.

and of course with all of that comes the endless amount of time spent with family…

but unlike most people who find that to be absolutely awful, i am reveling in the fact that i get to hang out with the individuals that i adore the utmost.

when i was younger, there was nothing i despised more than having to stay at home and spend an evening with anyone other than my friends…

obviously when you are an adolescent, you tend to believe that all parental units suck and FOMO and YOLO forever…

but i think that since we are still so immature in that point in our lives, we have no idea just how much more important that kind of time is, as opposed to constantly wanting to be with our peers.

as i have grown older, wiser and gracefully matured, the level of appreciation, love and respect i have for my mother and father has increased dramatically, and i genuinely look forward to the moments that we get together…

that kind of quality time has become the number one priority on my very short list of vitality.

not to mention, my parents are cool as heck, so really, i am only winning in this situation.

therefore, all of those people who dread this time of the year because they have to make time to reconnect with their relatives, i just do not fucking understand their type.

sure, we all go through some shit with our family members at some point in our lives…

and yes, maybe some of it is unforgivable, and in that case, i get it…

but in the long run, they will be the ones who have been there all along…

and to me, that means everything.

so here is to wishing you and yours a drama-free, relaxing and extremely happy holiday season!

enjoy it while it lasts…

love always,

Shekardaneh Claus

 

the ungrateful gobbler.

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the ungrateful gobbler.this is my absolute favorite time of the year!

not because it is chilly (SoCal does not know how to be cold) and cuddling is the only sport i know how to play (snuggling and spooning constitute as competitive athleticism)…

but because layering on more clothing and wearing oversized sweaters gives me ample space to fill out a little more, if you will.

in other words, it is almost Thanksgiving and eating food is something i am exceptionally good at.

for the past couple of years, i have upheld a “tradition” of jotting down certain ‘nouns’ that i am thankful for…

two years ago, my list was pretty generic:

family, friends, significant other, etc.

last year, my list was a bit more unorthodox:

less obvious people, places, things, etc.

therefore this year, i have decided to list stuff that i am unthankful for…

because even the more annoying aspects of life deserve a dishonorable mention.

so please refer to the bullet points below, as i arrange some of the things i can really do without, in no particular order…

  • any type of smokers
  • cheapskates
  • idiots who pronounce Saturday as Sourday
  • Madonna’s veins
  • people who constantly talk about their weight when they are not even fat or overweight

(motherfuckin’shutthehellupppp)

  • perpetual laggers or even worse, ones that do not call when they are going to be late

(tsk-tsk)

  • assholes
  • folks who endlessly whine about being broke/continuously brag about their riches
  • coworkers who still come in to the office when they are deathly sick
  • individuals who cannot spell correctly/lack of punctuation in text messages
  • extremely private people who want to keep everything a secret

(you’re not mysterious, you’re creepy)

  • couples who share social media profiles

(get it together, crazies)

  • someone who is fully capable of doing something, but asks you to do it instead
  • shit sandwich breath, unkempt bathrooms and wheezing coughs
  • people who overstay their fucking welcome
  • bitches

PHEW!

of course, there is soooo much more that i could add, but i am also thankless about complainers.

anyway, enjoy your day/evening of devouring deliciousness and guzzling gluttony…

because you totally deserve it.

[eye roll]

the public persona.

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the public persona.what is it about social media that is just soooo addicting?

i know i touch base on this subject a lot

but i can’t really help it when it is constantly presenting itself to me through various avenues.

(and by “various avenues”, i mean my ‘iPhone’…)

but in all honesty, i have been realizing more and more just how completely public it is…

and no matter how many Privacy Settings and Personal Lists and General Security features you set up, it is inevitable that some of your shit will still be seen by those hidden individuals…

it is on the World Wide Web, after all.

so why is it that with all of that access to our personal information, there are still a ton of people who still insist on publicizing every little aspect of their lives even more?

a few months back, i ran into someone who i had not seen since high school.

as we were ‘catching up’, she mentioned something a tad bit creepy to me…

she said, “is it weird that i feel like i know so much about what you’ve been up to because of your posts on Facebook?

and i awkwardly laughed a little and replied, “well, i don’t post that much.”

(but i kind of do…)

and that sort of made me rethink just how much of my life i want people i’m not necessarily close with to have visibility to.

i have “friends” from all walks of life on my Facebook…

from elementary school and all throughout my educational years, to old teachers and family and coworkers and maybe a few ex’s sprinkled in there, and their family members, to even some persons i actually despise in real life, but i added out of sheer obligation.

i mean, my ‘Friends List’ is fucking chalk full of anyone who has ever even slightly met me or mentioned my name or waved in my general direction…

which is great…

because that is the epitome of what social networking actually is.

but

fuck.

after that enlightening conversation, i decided to retrace and stalk myself for a bit…

i felt more at ease knowing that outside of miscellaneous links to articles and YouTube videos i enjoy, and pictures from concerts/cool places i go to, or photos of my food or my lipstick/nail-polish or humorous text exchanges or my pets or random strangers i capture, and maybe sometimes my extremely opinionated status updates, there really isn’t much to go off of.

sure, you can see where i work and where i went to school and where i live and when i was born…

but i don’t check in places (unless someone i am with does so) and i rarely like pages (unless you are someone important in my life), and i absolutely refuse to broadcast who i am dating or who my family members are by simply adding them to an “About Me” section.

i mean, to this very day, i have quite a difficult time even tagging people i am with in my Mobile Uploads, let alone myself…

but then there are these people who have literally dedicated albums upon albums to their children and their family and their significant others and their birthdays/anniversaries/weddings/anyandeverythingelse EVERY. DAMN. DAY/WEEK/MONTH/YEAR.

my god, we get it!

but Facebook is not Scrapbook…

and to be quite frank, i am sure that more than half of your “friends” have already hidden you from their ‘News Feed’ by now.

so give it a fucking break…

and maybe try sending it privately to the five people who might actually give a shit.

-LOGGING OUT-

the ample affection.

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the ample affection.is love enough?

like, really enough?

i’ve heard conflicting opinions and stances taken on this inquiry, and i must say, for someone who is as much of a hopeless romantic as i am, i’m really starting to question it.

i mean, thanks to the skillful rhyming styles of Destiny’s Child, i know that love can’t pay my Bills, Bills, Bills

not that money has ever been an important factor in the relationships i’ve chosen.

but as much as being in love and staying in love is effortless once you have found the right person, is it indeed sufficient?

are you willing to stay with someone who makes your heart pitter-patter and skip a couple of beats, even if it means having to maybe compromise other things that you once unequivocally believed to be non-negotiable in a relationship?

and if you can find it in your being to look past a certain number of things, will you ever be truly satisfied?

personally, as i have grown older and hopefully matured in my relationships, i have come to realize that some stuff are actually insignificant and too trivial to waste my time caring so much about…

but then again, there are a plenty of deal breakers that i refuse to budge on even if i am completely drowning in love.

of course the things that i value in a relationship are the things that most couples cease to settle on, as well:

  • Appreciation
  • Communication
  • Honesty
  • Openness
  • Loyalty
  • Non-Judgmental
  • Quality-Time
  • Trust

but most importantly, you need to be wholeheartedly happy and content with yourself and your significant other…

obviously, being happy all of the time is absolutely insane, but it should far outweigh the unhappy moments.

being in love is one of the most exhilaratingly fascinating states to be in…

but it can also be the most exhausting, because relationships require effort, time and work.

so in actuality, selecting your lifelong partner is not simply a decision made by your heart…

it is the simultaneous meeting of your brain and your soul.

choose wisely…

the trigger words.

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the trigger words.i get offended a lot…

even though i always act like i generally don’t give a flying fuck (because most of the time i honestly don’t care), just like anybody else, there are certain “trigger words” that send me into a tailspin…

and they can literally cause me to go from Tweety Bird to the Tasmanian Devil instantaneously.

i mean by the true definition, they initiate a process or course of action that is not in the least bit controllable, and is just downright consequential…

and since i can’t fucking help it, whatever happens after that swift 180 degree turn, is the fault of the naysayer.

i am aware of how outspoken i can be…

my quick comebacks, sarcasm, and bitchiness have yet to be matched.

and i also have a very small number of friends in my life who are allowed to practically say whatever the hell they want to me because that kind of truth just keeps us all a little bit humble…

but if i don’t really fucking know you…

or if you’re purposely trying to be a cunt/dick, then any respect i pretended to have for you to begin with will be so quickly demolished, that you’ll wish you had been born a mute.

especially if you have the audacity to question my intellect, knowledge or level of education…

because if there is one thing i take great pride in, it’s the fact that i am most definitely not an idiot.

i mean honestly, how pathetic is it to seek refuge by degrading another’s intelligence?

are you that insufferable?!

and yet, the unfortunate certainty remains that the people who permit themselves to try to belittle and demean and embarrass others, well, they tend to be the most moronic of them all…

so i guess Voltaire was correct, “common sense is not so common…”

dumbass.

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